Love That Never Was

My head is spinning,
Everything moving so quickly
Am I in, out, up or down
My future is frozen
The only time I have is now

But I don't know where to turn
All I had was in you
Your every move, Your every smile
Yet you threw me away
And called me worthless

What you forced me to learn
Is something you say you already knew
But now you'll find out
You didn't know me
For my fire will consume our flesh

I poured out my love
But it meant nothing
How could I not know what love is?
But from your heart you've told me
Love is something I never could give

Meaningless, that's what my life is now
Just an empty path
Full of despair
Drowning out the pain
Only makes my thinking clear

I look back now on every smile
Every touch and every laugh
And now I know they were never true
I was always just heartless
You always believed I was cruel

Every moment we shared
Was nothing more than just lies
The truth plays no favorites
It equally shares the pain
Consuming everything by my burning rage

So I'll take another pill
And let the Pixies dance
There shimmering shadows
In the corner of my eyes
Bear witness to my end

I pray once more
To my redeemer
That this night my prayer will come true
But again He reminds me
I still have work to do

So I know I'll wake in the morning
Swallowing my anguish and pride
I'll push aside the future I no longer see
For this consuming rage
Has set a new path before me

I'll take another pill and ready myself for what comes
For I can only keep loving
With this love that never was
The love you tell me is something
That I knew nothing of