My Home

Golden hues dance across the waves
Shimmering and twirling, a visual delight
Red, gold and orange boldly displayed
As laughter fills the air, I know peace

A wonderland of sights and sounds
A kaleidoscope of cascading colors
Swirling and twirling around me
But each touch burns my skin

I reach over to stroke your hair
But my hand passes through you
Everything is gone and erased
Only the shadows remain, faint reminders

My eyes flicker open to blackness
The shade slowly descending from the skies
Heaven weeps and delivers its woes to me
The rain burning as it kisses my skin

Is this Hell?  Is this what I've become?
Just a shade, a shadow moving among people
No one noticing, everyone passing through me
My life a joke, the stars laughing down on me

I slink along the walls
Watching the lights move around me
I stay to the shadows where I'm safe
Away from the light, such searing pain

I glide down familiar halls
Trailing above the hardwood floors
I breathe in the aroma of my home
This castle that is now my tomb

Echoing Heart

I hear the echo sound through my chest
A hollow flat sound that flows out into the night
Once it was a mighty beat, life flowing through it
But now the music has been muted
All that remains is this soft subtle echo

The scars build up, covering and constricting
Slowly they've choked the life out of my heart
But I'm helpless to stop it, I can only wait
A video slowly being recorded of my hardening heart
A low hollow thump echoing through my chest

I close my eyes, and try so hard to hear
Can there be anything left to come back to life?
My chest feels so hollow, my eyes see only shadows
But I refuse to let this be the end of it
Even with a dead heart I can move through this world

I slowly move among the shadows, my new home
Looking at the mockery the world has made of love
Feeling the scars build one after another
Feeling my heart harden, little by little
Knowing soon that it will be completely dead

So I'll swallow another pill to numb the pain
And dull the sensations and listen to the faint echos
The hollow flat sounds that flow through the night
My music, dead or alive, its what I have to give
So, I'll let the soft echoes drift out from the shadows

Hope

I scratch and scrape, pulling at the walls
Hoping for any little edge, just a tiny foot hold
My nails break and my skin rips
Jagged edges of this pit leaving their scars

Slowly, ever so slowy I move toward the light
Inch by inch, foot by foot
Somtimes I slip, and the light slips from my sight
But I keep moving forward, it's the only direction to go

I climb ever upward toward the light
Climbing out of this pit of despair
Reaching for any hold, or is that a hand?
No, it's just a trick of the light

Am I alone in my misery, trapped in despair
I have to keep climbing, I cannot dwell here
I lock my gaze onto two little stars
Both beaming bright, their light not hidden by this pit

What hope is this I feel from these stars?
A constant calling, and urging me forward
Bringing me toward them, for their own reasons
Guiding me from my pit

These two beautiful stars, ever shining bright
Push back the shadows, deeper into this pit
I climb, ragged, bleeding and sore
My body aches but I cannot rest

My two stars beckon to me, promising hope
Their light peeling away the despair
That has kept me hidden in this pit
I have a way out, I must keep pushing forward

So I climb, inch by inch, foot by foot
Scrapes and scars, bloodied skin on my hands
I continue to pull myself ever forward
Escaping from this pit of despair

Mi alma liberada

It was one glance and my breath froze
My chest wouldn't heave
I stood transfixed as if I were dead
Never imaging the joy that would come

I was only a ghost, a shadow of life
Going to work, coming back home
Then I'd do it all again
Yes, I'd do it all again

But God set an angel before me
My soul was renewed
Nothing I did from this point forward
Would ever matter in my life

Yes, you were that beauty
The one who stole the breath from me
My heart stops when I think of you
Waiting for you to let it beat

Now I know what heaven is
Just a tiny glimpse I was given
When I first laid my eyes on you
My soul was liberated

Your beauty flows from within
And your body cannot contain it
For with my eyes, I have seen
The beauty that lies within

Your love has set me free
It has guided my every step
My constant companion in my troubles
You have liberated my soul

The Pursuit

A snip here, a tuck there
Shaping, trimming, defining
All is  good, All is well
The knife is all I needed

My reflection, it grins back at me
All knowing gleam in it's eye
For it knows that it owns me
Only it can make me happy

Yet I don't recognize this person
Am I staring at me?
I feel this empty shell, my body
Will forever be changing

But it doesn't matter anymore
Because I'm hollow within
I was nothing more than a lump of clay
Just waiting to be molded

So I let the molder take me
And shape me as the world sees fit
For I am at it's eternal mercy
Bowing to what the world calls beauty

My decisions mean nothing now
Unless the world is happy
So I will let the molders knife
Carve me into beauty

The Tempest

Images flash and emotions roil
Ever-changing in my mind
Hopping from one topic to another
No peace, No peace will they ever find

When I close my eyes the colors flood in
Never just black like you would expect
But bursts of crimson and blues, yellows and greens
Always mixing, always changing, always blending

Yet you see me, but you don't
The turmoil that I live
The pain that I endure
Boiling beneath my skin

It tries to rise and escape
But is always held in check
Behind the many masks I wear
Something you would never expect

I'm an enigma to you
Something you try to figure out
Something you want to understand
But an answer that will always elude you

I am just a simple creation
Who's emotions are tied in knots
Giving what I have to give
But always being told it's never enough

So, I'll bottle up whats inside me
To do otherwise would make me insane
Always seething and boiling
Behind my smiling mask

As we go on living
Our two separate lives
Always keep an eye out
I'm dying , I'm dying inside

Beautiful Shells

Light shimmers and changes

New colors forever shifting and shining

Every time I look 

I stand in awe

That skin so soft and inviting

Could be the example 

Of what the world wants

And yet on the inside there is nothing

Just a hollow shell 

Something we can never fill

Although we keep pouring in

The vessel is always empty

I've heard tell that beauty is skin deep

So how hollow must be the shell

That contains all that outward beauty

That inwardly can never be filled

I walk amongst the corpses

All radiant and pure

But one gaze into their soulless eyes 

Shows a human that's never full

Their hunger is never satiated

They're driven to consume all

In the end though it's for nothing

Because they will always be an empty shell

Real beauty comes from within

And that inward light radiates out

Glowing through that thin shell

For all the world to see

Yet as I look on society

It becomes readily clear

That there are many beautiful people

Who will never have a light to bear

Love That Never Was

My head is spinning,
Everything moving so quickly
Am I in, out, up or down
My future is frozen
The only time I have is now

But I don't know where to turn
All I had was in you
Your every move, Your every smile
Yet you threw me away
And called me worthless

What you forced me to learn
Is something you say you already knew
But now you'll find out
You didn't know me
For my fire will consume our flesh

I poured out my love
But it meant nothing
How could I not know what love is?
But from your heart you've told me
Love is something I never could give

Meaningless, that's what my life is now
Just an empty path
Full of despair
Drowning out the pain
Only makes my thinking clear

I look back now on every smile
Every touch and every laugh
And now I know they were never true
I was always just heartless
You always believed I was cruel

Every moment we shared
Was nothing more than just lies
The truth plays no favorites
It equally shares the pain
Consuming everything by my burning rage

So I'll take another pill
And let the Pixies dance
There shimmering shadows
In the corner of my eyes
Bear witness to my end

I pray once more
To my redeemer
That this night my prayer will come true
But again He reminds me
I still have work to do

So I know I'll wake in the morning
Swallowing my anguish and pride
I'll push aside the future I no longer see
For this consuming rage
Has set a new path before me

I'll take another pill and ready myself for what comes
For I can only keep loving
With this love that never was
The love you tell me is something
That I knew nothing of