Coin Flip

The light beckons to me
Softly calling me forward
Whispers of delight in my ear

I'm drawn like a moth to the flame
Beauty that just waits to destroy me
And still I must move forward

This thing called love
So much joy, so much pain
Just two sides of the same coin

I flip it again and wait
Which side does it hold for me?
Where am I headed today?

Pleasure or pain, they're both the same
I may think I'm growing wiser
But life won't stop for me

Time fades and the world ages
I don't blink so it won't pass me by
Even in pain, I'll enjoy what I'm given

My Agony to Bear

Flesh peels from the edges
My living tissue revealed
All that my skin contains
The essence of who I am

My feelings, my emotions
Driven out from my core
Only allows me to suffer
With each new scar

My flesh stripped away
Layer by layer, every minute
By things I hold dear
They damage me the most

My unprotected core is exposed
My true self stripped away
Inch by inch, I live in my despair
Never to know the joy of others

Joy that so easily comes to them
Forever out of my grasp, unattainable
My core burns, my living flesh stings
Scars thicken to try and protect

Yet each scar is constantly re-opened
Each wound re-made fresh daily
All of the hatred, venom and bile
Poured into my wounds for my suffering

My scars ripped open
My flesh peeled away
Salt is my only salve
Driving home my agony

A Step Through Time

Images all around my face
Every one fading in and out
Each a personal memory
But none with meaning for me

Once I thought they captured my life
Reflecting my precious moments
Images on which I could reflect and ponder
But it was all just an illusion

Moments of joy only lived in my mind
I could not see the pain in others
The pain they feel so deep inside
Now shakes me to my core

My own pictures mock and taunt me
What I thought was joy never existed
What I thought was love was only a lie
My false memories obscured by truth

So, I put away each memory
Removing each picture from it's frame
For these images mean nothing to me
They capture a life that was only a lie

Sunflowers

Golden light bathes their face
As each flower slowly turns
They greet the new day
Unspoken desires
Yearning for the sun's warmth

Little visitors gently land
Each stalk quietly swaying
Such small creatures
Shades of yellow and brown
Delighting in the offering

I watch in amazement and delight
This grand spectacle laid before me
A simple act on my behalf
Just the planting of a seed
Yet the joy it brings is so intense

To think the time I spent planting
Lovingly preparing each and every seed
This bounty of delight yielded to me
Where the sun brightens my soul
As Nature enjoys my little offering

Simple Delights

The ripples slowly spread
Obscuring my image
A ghostly shadow
I see it dancing
Moving with the waves

The colors are so vivid
Their warmth filling my heart
My smile beams back at me
And I return the favor
Such a simple gesture

A shadow passes over
I stare up toward the sky
There is the little Blue Bird
My partner on the waves
Dancing with my image

I turn my gaze toward the pool
Seeing my hope laid bare
I get just a moments glance
Before the ripples return
My shadow dancing with the waves

My shadow shimmers on the surface
I know I'm blessed to behold this sight
Such a simple and plain vision
My simple features glisten
A pale reflection of God's light

End of the Road

I stare deep into your ebony eyes
Not a glimmer of light is shining
Nothing is reflected in your gaze
And I realize who you are

You only came at my invitation
Standing before me at my beckoning
Peering into my souls deepest regions
I feel a cold that cannot be imagined

Your fleshless fingers point my way
The direction I fear to see
Still I must move forward
That is where my future awaits

There is no escaping your grip
There is no fleeing my destiny
Everyone will pass your way
My time happens to be now

I give you a weak little smile
But inside I shake uncontrollably
Just like a young child reaping his reward
For the actions that he has committed

So I meet your cold steely gaze
And I gird myself for the trip ahead
Everyone must make this journey
Passing from the living to the dead

Tin Man

Eyes wide open, yet they're shut
What stands before me goes unseen
Pain and hurt calling out
But my ears are sealed to the cry

My skin so calloused
My hide so thick
No emotions penetrate
No emotions displayed

In the corner of my eye
Stands my other half
Suffering alone and wondering
What's wrong with him?

How could he not feel?
How could he not see?
How could he not help?
Why did he ignore me?

My head hangs in shame
Wondering what I could have been
Her night in shining armor
Instead I'm the rusted Tin Man

Scars

Fire consumes my eyes
Each tear searing my skin
Streams burning down my cheeks
Etching more paths of sorrow

How many lines do I have?
How deep are these furrows?
The etchings across my face
Revealing my heart's hidden pain

In one quick instance
My hopes are crushed
Dreams that I once held dear
Never to be fulfilled

Like a phantom I exist now
Barely moving through the world
Only a shadow of the being
That my friends once knew

I cling to this life
Grasping onto any hand hold
My fingers clawing the surface
Nails ripped to the bone

I tip my hat to you
And then I bid farewell
Your work here is done
My heart ripped to shreds

Each tattered ribbon
Trying to bind to me
Only one small flicker
Holding my heart together

So this pain I will endure
Just another scar to bear
Were a wound was ripped open
And my heart healed again

Along for the ride

He always knew he could never be the one
His trials and errors taught him these lessons
The world would forever be his enemy
His goals and dreams could never be reached

At times he’s amazed, how could he be so blinded
He knew his virtues could never cover his sins
And yet he still yearned for something to cling to
Anything that would tip the scales toward him

During his times of utter despair, hours dark and grim
He felt his pain at its worst, the anguish consuming
He pushed on through this sheer loneliness
Crying out to be saved, but sliding back into darkness

Silently he suffered; he could sense his journey’s end
Yet through his darkness, he saw the light
And could feel the warmth flowing deep into his soul
A peace passing his understanding

There was another that had already accomplished
That which he pushed himself towards
He would never be the perfect person
And good enough was never an option

How can you measure things swayed by men
A moving target, shifting by their whims
Goals and achievements temporal, limited by time
Present for the here and now, gone from eternity

And yet as he was bathed by this light
He felt a comfort he had never known
It wasn’t his journey he was charged to make
But an adventure that he had been sent on

Walking behind the One true light
Radiating brilliantly before him
He realized he was meant to share
In the joy brought to others

Pausing for the first time in his life
He reflected on this revelation
That all he ever had to do was accept a gift
And be what God had made him

Pale Moonlight

In shame I hang my head
My eyes turned aside shunning all
It's now so clear to me
The things I should have said
But so well did I play the mute

I now face the opportunities I wasted
The chances that I let pass me by
Those instances I needed to share something
An everlasting, meaningful truth
The real purpose that we are here

Yet in my deep despair
I turned away from the light
What I thought was a momentary blink
Became an eternity lost for someone
Because of the instant I lost my sight

There is a greater purpose we serve
A higher calling for our lives
We are men, not merely animals
Even though we often fall short
We were created for a purpose

My sorrow knows no limits
The depths of my despair unmeasurable
And yet I sink further still
Swallowed and absorbed by the abyss
It's sweet, dark oblivion, my only kiss

And yet in my final moments
I hear a voice softly whisper my name
Reassuringly reminding me of He who eases my pain
His light that has always been waiting
Ever present to lead my way

He was always above watching me
When I felt alone, He had never let go
And in my worse moments of turmoil
He was there holding me, soothing me
My Redeemer who saved more than just me

So I open myself to true inner change
To what truly must be re-made
Not this poor shell of a man standing before you
But this reflection of He that is much greater
The image of my Lord and Savior

Choices

The pit lays full, not barren and bare
Waiting for a kiss from a spark
That's all it needs to ignite the fire
And set ablaze these heavy logs

Bright and hot, the fire burns
Flames dancing and licking at the dark
Bright yellows and orange with deep, dark reds
Multiple hues shining into the night

A spark jumps while the fire crackles
And an ember boldly leaps forth from the pit
It stands on his own, It's passion searing
A bright star shining on the world

But what the the lonely ember forgets
Is the warmth shared among friends
The constant replenishing, and re-igniting
Of the desires and dreams that drive them

Slowly, ever so slowly, the ember starts to cool,
A once bright beacon fading into the evening
A decision must be made and a choice must be taken
Will I live bright and burn out? Or do I go back in?

Leaves

Laughter breaks through the silence
An unwanted intrusion into my thoughts
Slowly they arouse me from my slumber
And the world comes back into focus

People move all around me
Their bodies shuffling to and fro
Like leaves twisting in the wind
Each one sharing it's own dance

I walk through this impromptu show
Finding where I may fit in
My body twists in the summer wind
Sharing my unique dance with all

I can feel the energy around me
The emotions flowing so pure
Dances of joy and of sadness
Each with their own rhythm and tunes

Does my dance fit in here
Does it even belong with the others
I move among the masses
A mixture of sadness and hope

I look out among the others
Wondering who may notice me
But I just blend into the background
Just another leaf on the tree

So without any trepidation
There is no hesitation from me
I let my energy join the others
Just another leaf dancing on the tree